


Anything That Can Go Wrong: The Tale of the Danville Apocalypse

by bujeetles (Oboeist3)



Category: Milo Murphy's Law
Genre: Alternate Universe - Good Omens Fusion, M/M, other tags to be added as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 09:05:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19270093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oboeist3/pseuds/bujeetles
Summary: Dakota isn't like most of the other demons. Not because he's old, or that he used to be an angel, though there are less of them than there used to be. It's because he remembers God. He remembers, and he's not impressed. There were some who fell over the tiniest things, over questions, or being falsely loyal. Dakota didn't fall. He dove off that pristine palace and into reality. He's never regretted it, but Cavendish sometimes makes him wonder if he should.Cavendish. How does one describe Cavendish? On the surface, he's just another goody-two shoes angel, pompous, self-righteous, terribly old-fashioned. But first glances are deceiving, and Dakota knows him better than that. He knows he's brilliant, and more importantly he's crafty. He won't eat food but he'll drink enough tea to drown a human. He collects clocks and adding machines and just about anything that has gears and is receptive to fiddling.He knows that he loves him.Universal constants are a boring way to start a story though, so we'll move right along to something much more exciting.





	Anything That Can Go Wrong: The Tale of the Danville Apocalypse

The story begins at Armageddon. The End of Everything. Properly, at the beginning of that end. If there was an author behind it with any knowledge of symbolism, they'd place it somewhere remote, somewhere intriguing, out of the ordinary. As it happens, the world does not make such easy literary dissection.

Instead, it begins in Danville - the largest city in the Tri-State Area - with two women in labor and a tracksuit wearing demon bearing a picnic basket. The first of these women is Magdala Nicholson, and her husband is traveling, like he always is. She could call him, force him to listen to her screams of agony, but she's past being angry at him for it, settled into weary, exhausted acceptance.

The second woman is Bridgette Murphy, who remains calm even as various pieces of medical equipment fail around her, flustering the nurses. Her husband, Martin, is present and has only just managed to avoid a collapsing pole, nearly sending him to the suite that bears his family's name.

By a fluke of probability, the two dark-haired, squirming babies come into the world within the same sixty seconds. More alarmingly, something in their hospital suite that is supposed to be flame-proof catches on fire. Funnily enough, it is not the work of the demon, but it is his opportunity. He takes the baby in the basket, His Dark Majesty, etc, etc, and swaps him with the baby closest to Magdala Nicholson, and also the door. He doesn't want to be here any longer than he has to. As such, he doesn't pay attention to the toe tag on the baby now occupying his basket, the one that says Murphy. Obeying the law that rules his family above all else. [1]

His Dark Majesty, being thought a Murphy, is named Milo. Alliteration is a tradition among men in the family, and there were no covert agents to suggest Mephistopheles or another more menacing name. At least it wasn't something ironic and opposite to his eventual nature, like Adam. Wouldn't that be very heavy handed?

The Nicholson baby is named Bradley, after a long dead grandfather, and as he dozes on his mother's chest, she wonders if this one is destined to be a freak as well. She wonders if she should bother preventing it. Everything around her falls apart, her marriage, her family, her body. She thinks it might be easier if everything else ended too.

Magdala is unaware her dreams will come true.

* * *

Once everything is done, the demon sits in his three-wheeled, tan-colored, ugly-as-hell vehicle, bunches fingers in the explosion of his hair, and tries not to think about what he's just done. That he's just kickstarted the finale of six-thousand years of struggle. That he only has thirteen years until fire rends the Earth and the soil is heavy with blood.

He goes to Slushie Dog, and orders everything off the menu except the tuna sandwich. He's the reason that every fast food restaurant offers some food item that no one ever orders but the staff has to be prepared for anyway. A bit of low-grade wastefulness multiplied across thousands of locations. He's good at that, at producing strains of evil without the capital E. Something of his modus operandi.

The grease-laden food settles his nerves a little, enough that he can pull out his phone and stare at the first contact on his phone, 'Angel'.

They're not fighting, because that would imply they talked about it. They've just been avoiding each other with more vehemence than usual, that's all. He's taken it fine, not sulking or anything. The fact that he's still wearing the same outfit from their last encounter is for convenience, changing clothes is a pain. Besides, fashion has been all downhill since the nineteen seventies.[2]

It takes twenty minutes and two magically refilled shakes for him to actually press the call button. The hum of the dial tone seems to stretch on forever, past three and almost onto the fourth when he hears the click, the smoke-rasped voice speaking pleasantly and distant.

"Mille Mechanics, Cavell street location." He resists the urge to snort, there weren't any other locations, but he had to admit it was a good move, making the place seem mundane. Having it registered as a business also meant he wasn't eligible for phone polls. The angel was always so clever in avoiding humanity. "How can I help you?"

"It's me. There's something that's happened in Danville. Something important."

"A hello might be appropriate. Something the lines of 'how are you?" The angel says, terse and proper.

"I'll do all the small talk you want when we meet up. Believe me, you don't want to hear this over the phone."

"Very well. At St James's Park, I presume."

"Wherever you want, angel." he says, and he smiles in spite of everything, because it's so good to hear from him again. He's just about to hang up and bend the rules of physics to get where he wants to go when a quiet question sneaks up to him.

"Why did you call, Dakota?"

"I don't know. Seemed like the right thing to do."

* * *

" _Wouldn't it be interesting, if you did the right thing this time?"_

_"I hope I didn't. A demon can get into a lot of trouble for doing the right thing."_

_"I can't see why. You're supposed to do bad things, which you did. It's another matter altogether if it was right."_

_"What's the difference?"_

_"Predestination, I suppose. Some events that have to happen, exactly the way God planned them."_

_"Sounds complicated."_

_"Yes. Yes, it is. Isn't that wonderful?"_

* * *

[1] There's no need to worry about him, however. The demon, being generally fond of children, and the bosses being disinterested in the superfluous child's fate, finds himself discretely adopted to a couple in California. He's called weird by his friends, likely due to his hereditary misfortune, learns to play the accordion, and starts writing very funny parodies of pop songs.

[2] Barring, naturally, the clusterfuck of 2003. Denim, see-through and glitter combined into an unholy mess. It's some of his best work, and bewildering to any human silly enough to believe in a secular world.

**Author's Note:**

> i remain horrible at writing author's notes but a few are warranted in this case 
> 
> 1) this is a good omens fusion, so certain things won't make a lot of sense without having read and/or watched it. i highly encourage both  
> 2) that being said, the narrative style is much more evocation than dead on impression. i tried the former, but i'm just not suited to it. this way is easier, and probably more enjoyable. i'm no terry pratchet  
> 3) i'm going to do my best to make it to the end of the end of everything, but longform fics have always been a difficulty on my part. your support should a hiatus or a suspension occur is very much appreciated  
> 4) thank you so much for reading! :D


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